All my sons - all of the time

I always envied those celebrity mums who would say thing like, "I stay slim running around after my children." and "I make special time for each of my children every day." The latter is even more impressive because Angelina Jolie has six of them !

It has taken me time to work out how to do it, but I have finally got the hang of spending quality time with the boys. At first I did the same things with them both which invariably led to one of them being bored and unruly which spoiled it for the other one (and me). Now I make time to do thing with them individually and tailor the activities to what they love to do. It's been a journey of discovery that has reminded me they are similar, but different and of the value of one to one time.

Last week I took Blue Bear to the theatre to watch Ben and Holly's Magical Kingdom on stage at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley and he loved it. He sat nicely throughout the show and joined in when they asked the children to shout out, although he didn't want to sing the laughter song. At the end he said, "more Ben and Holly Mummy." and I explained that as the are little children they had to go home to go to bed just like he did. He was very upset that it was over. It's so different from the first time we took him to watch a show and when the lights went down he freaked out and didn't want to stay. We took him to meet Sooty, Sweep and Soo after the show, but I think Hubbie was far more impressed than the boys were.

Brown Bear is a different kettle of fish and enjoys nothing more than a day out doing fun stuff like visiting Daddy at work. We went to the Science Museum at the end of the Christmas holidays and as his office is right next door we popped in to see Hubbie for lunch. I have always taken Brown Bear into London and we usually go to the London Transport Museum as it's one of his favourites. In the past we've been ice skating, on a treasure hunt and on a boat trip on the Thames. I have already promised him some one to one time during half term when his brother is at half term camp. It's important to him that we get to do things just us.

Before we adopted Blue Bear everything was about Brown Bear and he loved being the centre of attention. In the summer holidays we would go out and visit the London Transport Museum once a week and visit parks almost every day. We'd go to rhyme time, gymboree and stay and play and he had the busiest schedule of any toddler I knew. I was careful not to overload Blue Bear in the same was as we didn't want to overwhelm him. Helping him settle into the family meant taking things at a pace that would suit him. Even though they absolutely love each other now the early days were pretty tough to negotiate.

We took both the boys to London and planned lots of fun things like an open top bus tour and a boat trip. They bickered and fussed the whole time. What we hadn't accounted for was that Blue Bear wasn't used to days out and Brown Bear had already done all of those things. We needed to do things differently. This is where we had to take them on one at a time. By having one each and giving them special attention they respond far better and we all have a nicer time. For Brown Bear's birthday we went to Legoland and we made sure both boys had a fantastic day. At times we split up and did things separately and then we came together as a family and had fun being trainee firefighters.

When it works it can be amazing. After all I don't have a nanny or a personal trainer to bail me out when I don't feel like being mum. What I do have is a wealth of ideas about how to have fun with my boys.

Brave New World

I've set myself some ambitions for this year and one of those is to be more true to myself. I started this blog because when I look back at the adventures I've had since becoming a mum I realised that I've been braver than I thought I could be in so many things. I always wanted to learn trapeze, but didn't have the guts to despite taking impro classes in a venue called the circus space. It wasn't until I was on a mini cruise with Brown Bear that the opportunity to learn trapeze was there. He decided he fancied the kids club and I was left with nothing to do so I wandered to the sports deck and gave it a go. I was terrified. It was the least easeful thing ever if I'm honest, but I'm so proud to be able to say I did it.

Don't be fooled - I was shaking like a leaf !! 

The other day me and Brown Bear were watching Blue Peter and he said, "Look Mummy they're going skydiving like we did." I hadn't exactly forgotten, but it had escaped me how momentous that was. Not least as he was only 4 when we did it. It wasn't out of a plane - I wouldn't push my 4 year old out of a plane, I'm not a sadist - it was in a wind tunnel thing. We both had a go and it was exhilarating and exciting. He was the youngest child there and so brave to have done it.

On our summer holiday in Cornwall last year we had a surfing lesson together. I'd wanted him to have a go for ages and when he turned 5 he was old enough and he asked me to go with him. We had such a blast.

Since then we've done a park run - which he did not enjoy, but I held his hand so he could get all the way round and he was very proud to finish. He hasn't wanted to do it again though so clearly not a runner.

The bonding that comes from doing these things together is great. As well as being active and having fun we also now have in-jokes that he drops into conversation when I least expect them. It makes me smile when he does that.

I wasn't a risk taker as a child. It's not something that was encouraged in my family so I didn't really try new things or consider myself capable of doing much. I take a very different approach with my children. They are already so much braver than I've ever been and it's made me more adventurous as a result.

I am so delighted when they try something new and succeed at it. They do all the things I wish for them and more. Things like:

Dance freely and without inhibition

Enjoy the outdoors in any weather

Draw without any fear of it not being 'right' or 'perfect'

Choose clothes that they love and wear them until they are wet, filthy and (usually) full of holes

Make friends with children they've just met and play with them like old pals

Run up and give me cuddles and kisses when they feel like it and shake their heads vigorously when they don't want to

So this year I'm taking a leaf from their book. I'm going to be brave and silly and I'm going to enjoy being Mum.

The day we went to space and still got home in time for tea

With the boys being at different stages of schooling Blue Bear went back to nursery a day earlier than Brown Bear went back to school. I decided that we could take advantage of this 'bonus day' and we went into London. I gave Brown Bear the choice of either going to the London Transport Museum (which he loves) or to the Science Museum in South Kensington. He opted for the latter as it's not one we go to often and I don't think he remembers when we've been before. 

The Science Museum, Natural History Museum and the V & A are all close together and are free, but they do suggest a donation amount. On this visit we found there were queues to get in as there are now desks where you go through security, make a donation and can buy a guide book or map. I guess the voluntary donation system didn't work so well and this is how they ensure better financial returns. The cloakroom is also chargeable with a per item cost and if you want to take part in some activities such as watching an imax movie you have to buy a ticket. Otherwise the general museum is still free - as it always was - and my boy really loved seeing the spacecraft and the suit that Helen Sharman wore. We also went ooh and aah at the transport exhibits such as Puffing Billy and Stephenson's Rocket. I was very conscious of the time so we went to the 3rd floor to explore some of the interactive exhibits. Brown Bear particularly enjoyed designing a space rover and testing it on tough terrain to see if it would survive on the lunar surface. It took quite a few tweaks to the design for it to work, but it was interesting to see how he learned from trying different shapes and wheel placement. 

Designing a space rover

I remember going to the Science Museum with my friend Neil years ago - before children - and we spent a whole day there and only managed to really explore one floor and maybe a bit of another. I was optimistic thinking we'd see much in only a few hours. Also, Hubbie works right next door so we had arranged to meet him for lunch and that was even more exciting for Brown Bear.  

I've always thought we're so lucky to live close to London and to have all the fantastic museums practically on our doorstep. Now that Brown Bear is older I can take him to the places that I've loved so much from my own childhood. As we walked back to the station we passed the ice rink in the grounds of the Natural History Museum and I reminded him that we went there a couple of years ago for a skating session and hot chococlate and he used a penguin to help him get round the rink. "I don't need one now Mummy, I can do it myself." I agreed with him. 

We passed a busker playing Get Lucky on the saxaphone and he said, "That's my song Mummy." I took his hand and said, "Yes it is." and thought how lucky I was to get this special extra day with my boy. 

Making plans and tidying up

Hey hey hey it's 2017. I hope you have had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. This week the boys go back to school and nursery and Hubbie goes back to work. I will get the house back to myself again and I can really get ahead with my Marie Kondo style tidying. I got her book Spark Joy for Christmas and have been through the house like a buzzsaw already !

I've KonMaried our front room ! 

So are you making resolutions or setting goals for this year ? Do you have ambitions or dreams you intend to follow ? I know it's a cliche, but the start of a new year often encourages us to look at reinvigorating our lives, or taking up new hobbies. That's why we have Veganuary, Dry January, discounted gym memberships and those baffling part works. I would love to know at what point in the year you can no longer buy the cross stitch magazines or how many of the later editions they even print.

Hubbie bought a copy of Men's Health for the first time today and was up and our for a run before I even surfaced from under the duvet. I am not passing any judgement on this as a year ago when he took up cycling I scoffed that it wouldn't last and here he is commuting 13.5 miles to work on a bike every day. I'm glad I didn't make a wager on that !

Anyway, as I felt sorry for myself over Christmas lying on the sofa with a stomach bug - secretly thinking ooh that's a good start to my weight loss goal - I thought about what I want to achieve with the next random allocation of 12 months.

I'm taking part in the Moonwalk in May - it's a marthon walk during the night through London and this year is the 20th anniversary of the event. The last time I did this event was before Brown Bear was born and I was at least a stone and a half lighter than I am now, I was fitter and much less sleep deprived. In order to give it my best shot I went for a 3 mile walk today and I'm getting into my training plan early to make sure I'm fit and well before the big day.

Having taken time to be at home with my boys - which has been rewarding and tiring and maddening all at the same time - I now want to work doing something else. I've worked full time before, and before Blue Bear came to live with us I was working again, but now I have to find a way that fits in with all of us and make that a priority. I will keep you posted on my progress.

The best thing about being at home has been the time I've been able to spend doing the things I love. Writing, radio presenting and volunteering. I intend to bring you more adventures, fun days out and even some great things you can do for yourself. It's much more fun if you can share isn't it ?

Well, that's out there now so I have to do it don't I ?

A first trip to Legoland for my boy's birthday treat

We asked Brown Bear a while back what he'd like to do for his birthday and he replied - unequivically - that he wanted to go to Legoland. I realise that it may be bordering on negligent on our part that he has made it to 6 years old without going, but I think he's now at an age where he can truly appreciate it. I grew up 20 minutes drive from Windsor so we would go there regularly either to the safari park (where the monkeys would snap off your windscreen wipers - a sure sign they weren't happy in my book) or to see the castle long before they introduced an entry charge. 

Before we went I asked for some tips on what to do on our visit. Almost everyone said get there early and I can see why. Even on a rainy day in October the car park was heaving when we arrived. The other tip was to go to the very end and work back as it's a long walk at the end of the day otherwise. This proved to be a great bit of advice as there is so much to see and do that just doing a circuit to see what is where proved helpful in planning our visit. My lovely blogger pal Lou also said go to the Laser Raiders ride so we queued for it. It took a lot longer than I expected, but the boys really enjoyed shooting lasers at targets. I think if we go again I won't go for the long queues as we realised (afterwards) that the notice boards give you a heads up how long the queues are in the entire park. 

One of the things I really liked when we waited the longest was this kids area where Brown Bear sat and watched a lego movie while we stood in line. Blue Bear wasn't so keen to be left so we carried him instead. The queue management is pretty good on Laser Raiders, I guess because it's so popular. You can purchase ways to jump the queues, but as it was our first visit we decided not to. I think that was the right idea and on a future visit I would consider it, but we did so much I didn't feel the need on this occasion. 

Brown Bear was so excited when he saw that there is a fire academy in Legocity. We headed over there and both boys could hardly contain themselves when we got to take part. It is an exhausting activity, but we had such fun that I can heartily recommend it. 

After we'd been on some rides and put out fires we went to see Miniland. This is the bit of Legoland that I have always seen in photos and it's pretty breathtaking. Brown Bear loved London and Blue Bear ran around looking for the moving trains and boats. As the boys missed football to go to Legoland it was with great joy that they spotted a mini version of Wembley (the original one) and cheered on the match that was taking place. 

I had to share a photo of Covent Garden as it's such an iconic London location.  

This year is Legoland's 20th birthday and we were there to see a live show featuring Olly the dragon and his dance moves. The sun came out and we all had a bop along with him on the grass. 

As we were getting tired and wanted to get going we decided to make our way out, but Brown Bear spotted a sign for the Star Wars Miniland exhibit. I'm so glad we did as it is really impressive. Lego depictions of great battles from the movies and all the iconic characters take your breath away, but the most amazing is the Millenium Falcon and a Death Star that sent a chill down my spine. 

We didn't have the best weather as it was rainy and sunny in turns all day. This did result in the perfect end to our day though. A double rainbow. 

Disclosure: The lovely folks at Legoland gave us a family ticket for our day out.