All my sons - all of the time

I always envied those celebrity mums who would say thing like, "I stay slim running around after my children." and "I make special time for each of my children every day." The latter is even more impressive because Angelina Jolie has six of them !

It has taken me time to work out how to do it, but I have finally got the hang of spending quality time with the boys. At first I did the same things with them both which invariably led to one of them being bored and unruly which spoiled it for the other one (and me). Now I make time to do thing with them individually and tailor the activities to what they love to do. It's been a journey of discovery that has reminded me they are similar, but different and of the value of one to one time.

Last week I took Blue Bear to the theatre to watch Ben and Holly's Magical Kingdom on stage at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley and he loved it. He sat nicely throughout the show and joined in when they asked the children to shout out, although he didn't want to sing the laughter song. At the end he said, "more Ben and Holly Mummy." and I explained that as the are little children they had to go home to go to bed just like he did. He was very upset that it was over. It's so different from the first time we took him to watch a show and when the lights went down he freaked out and didn't want to stay. We took him to meet Sooty, Sweep and Soo after the show, but I think Hubbie was far more impressed than the boys were.

Brown Bear is a different kettle of fish and enjoys nothing more than a day out doing fun stuff like visiting Daddy at work. We went to the Science Museum at the end of the Christmas holidays and as his office is right next door we popped in to see Hubbie for lunch. I have always taken Brown Bear into London and we usually go to the London Transport Museum as it's one of his favourites. In the past we've been ice skating, on a treasure hunt and on a boat trip on the Thames. I have already promised him some one to one time during half term when his brother is at half term camp. It's important to him that we get to do things just us.

Before we adopted Blue Bear everything was about Brown Bear and he loved being the centre of attention. In the summer holidays we would go out and visit the London Transport Museum once a week and visit parks almost every day. We'd go to rhyme time, gymboree and stay and play and he had the busiest schedule of any toddler I knew. I was careful not to overload Blue Bear in the same was as we didn't want to overwhelm him. Helping him settle into the family meant taking things at a pace that would suit him. Even though they absolutely love each other now the early days were pretty tough to negotiate.

We took both the boys to London and planned lots of fun things like an open top bus tour and a boat trip. They bickered and fussed the whole time. What we hadn't accounted for was that Blue Bear wasn't used to days out and Brown Bear had already done all of those things. We needed to do things differently. This is where we had to take them on one at a time. By having one each and giving them special attention they respond far better and we all have a nicer time. For Brown Bear's birthday we went to Legoland and we made sure both boys had a fantastic day. At times we split up and did things separately and then we came together as a family and had fun being trainee firefighters.

When it works it can be amazing. After all I don't have a nanny or a personal trainer to bail me out when I don't feel like being mum. What I do have is a wealth of ideas about how to have fun with my boys.

Brave New World

I've set myself some ambitions for this year and one of those is to be more true to myself. I started this blog because when I look back at the adventures I've had since becoming a mum I realised that I've been braver than I thought I could be in so many things. I always wanted to learn trapeze, but didn't have the guts to despite taking impro classes in a venue called the circus space. It wasn't until I was on a mini cruise with Brown Bear that the opportunity to learn trapeze was there. He decided he fancied the kids club and I was left with nothing to do so I wandered to the sports deck and gave it a go. I was terrified. It was the least easeful thing ever if I'm honest, but I'm so proud to be able to say I did it.

Don't be fooled - I was shaking like a leaf !! 

The other day me and Brown Bear were watching Blue Peter and he said, "Look Mummy they're going skydiving like we did." I hadn't exactly forgotten, but it had escaped me how momentous that was. Not least as he was only 4 when we did it. It wasn't out of a plane - I wouldn't push my 4 year old out of a plane, I'm not a sadist - it was in a wind tunnel thing. We both had a go and it was exhilarating and exciting. He was the youngest child there and so brave to have done it.

On our summer holiday in Cornwall last year we had a surfing lesson together. I'd wanted him to have a go for ages and when he turned 5 he was old enough and he asked me to go with him. We had such a blast.

Since then we've done a park run - which he did not enjoy, but I held his hand so he could get all the way round and he was very proud to finish. He hasn't wanted to do it again though so clearly not a runner.

The bonding that comes from doing these things together is great. As well as being active and having fun we also now have in-jokes that he drops into conversation when I least expect them. It makes me smile when he does that.

I wasn't a risk taker as a child. It's not something that was encouraged in my family so I didn't really try new things or consider myself capable of doing much. I take a very different approach with my children. They are already so much braver than I've ever been and it's made me more adventurous as a result.

I am so delighted when they try something new and succeed at it. They do all the things I wish for them and more. Things like:

Dance freely and without inhibition

Enjoy the outdoors in any weather

Draw without any fear of it not being 'right' or 'perfect'

Choose clothes that they love and wear them until they are wet, filthy and (usually) full of holes

Make friends with children they've just met and play with them like old pals

Run up and give me cuddles and kisses when they feel like it and shake their heads vigorously when they don't want to

So this year I'm taking a leaf from their book. I'm going to be brave and silly and I'm going to enjoy being Mum.

'tis the season for giving

I've been thinking about the values that we teach our children and one of the main reasons I share ideas for things to do with kids is to encourage others to do the same. A big part of our family life is giving to others. I want to raise my boys to be men who are valued members of society and whose worth is measured in more than monetary terms - not that there's anything wrong with that too of course. So, it's important that I lead by example and show them how being kind is important.

Recently we talked about how many toys they have and how they are so fortunate to get new gifts for birthdays and at Christmas. We agreed that the toys they no longer play with - only if they are in good condition - could be donated to other children who don't have much. The boys were very generous in their decisions to give things away and I almost had to hold them back from giving everything away. I posted on a local freecycle site and was contacted by someone from a local refugee charity that supports families in the local area. Blue Bear and I went on Monday with bags of children's shoes, toys., handbags and some clothes. We get to clear space and someone else gets to play with the toys and wear the shoes. Double bubble.

When we go food shopping we put a few extra things into the shop to donate to the food bank. At Christmas I like to include some treats like mince pies, chocolates, an advent calendar or two and some posh biscuits or crackers for cheese. Our local food bank also collect toys and clothes at Christmas to give to the families who rely on their support.

Every year the Metropolitan Police run a Christmas campaign to give presents to children who might otherwise not get anything. Last year 11,000 presents were given out so it is a big thing and worth taking part in. You can donate to one child or a few - it is entirely up to you how much you spend and last year we were given a lovely Christmas card from a police dog as a thank you. It's the little things that make me happy.

I'm sure I've mentioned before that blood donation is an incredible gift. If you are able to donate it's particularly important at this time of year as stocks run low during the winter months, but the demand for blood products does not. It doesn't take long to donate at all and you can make an appointment in advance. If you're a bit funny about needles just tell them when you arrive - they are really nice and want to make it as easy as possible for you. Once you've donated you get to have a drink and a snack - I love the tea and biscuits afterwards. Honestly if you can give blood I cannot express how important it is that you try.

Lastly, it's getting cold and there are charities that collect coats, blankets and clothing for people who are sleeping rough. If you are in London you can donate a coat at an allocated donation point until this Friday (18th Nov). If you have clothes you no longer wear that are in good condition there will be a charity that can take them. The Salvation Army in Croydon accept clothes for men and women and give them directly to people in need.

These are a few of the ways that we give. I hope that when my boys are all grown up they will still think about others and want to keep this family tradition going. I'd be so proud if they did. 

Boxpark Croydon: My new exploration challenge

Look at how beautiful it is !

I took a walk this evening to explore Boxpark - a new venue in Croydon that opened last weekend. It is a phenomenon that started out in Shoreditch and has now come South of the river. I knew something was up when I saw a man with a top knot style hairdo a while back and have watched the rising interest in artisan coffee for years now. We've had our own Cronx brewery too and most recently a project took over all the walls in Croydon with street art that is frankly amazing. Boxpark, however, takes us to a whole new level of cool and I can see why. I mean look at the design of it for a start. How cool is that ?

You can get to Heathrow on that bus - seriously ! 

Unlike our East London counterpart this Boxpark is food, drink and music. There are not fashion outlets - so far. It's right next to East Croydon station and well served by plenty of public transport so if you've planned an after work drink or bite to eat you've got plenty of options for getting home afterwards. 

The perfect lighting for a first date

It was proper parky* tonight so there weren't so many outdoor diners / drinkers, but the outside seating is plentiful and well lit. Probably just right for first dates I reckon. As it is the outdoor spaces are taken up by smokers, but at least the design has incorporated plenty of greenery to counteract the container look. 

I know people who are slavering right now 

There are plenty of food places that already have a great reputation elsewhere and pride of location goes to Meat Liquor which pretty much dominates the upstairs of the Boxpark. Not my scene at all, but it was doing a roaring trade for a Wednesday evening. Mind you maybe Wednesday is the new (insert day of the week most associated with partying nowadays). 

Excellent motto 

I was impressed with how busy it was and yet not at all crowded. I'm sure this will be different at weekends when it's going to be heaving and with so many places to eat and drink it will attract a range of visitors. I've already scoped out all my dining plans for the weekend:

Friday - free Burritos at Chilangos with the kids before we go to watch the fireworks - yes please !!

Saturday - I'm trying to talk my lovely friend into coming with me. I think meat liquor will persuade her though

Sunday - Brunch at the Breakfast Club, by far my favourite venue for a late breakfast / early lunch. The kids have never been before so fingers crossed they enjoy it.

Monday - it's Hubbie's birthday so after parents' evening we're going to take a stroll down to Boxpark and see what takes his fancy.

I haven't seen this many seats since my uni exams ! 

There is so much to try that I've set myself a challenge - I'm dedicating the rest of this year to exploring the eateries and bars and will use it as leverage to get more people to visit Croydon. We are proper trendy now you know !! 

I'm going to be seeing a lot of this sign

* parky is colloquial for very, very cold indeed 

Half term fun and ice skating at the Eden Project

Autumn half term is a much needed break for both children and adults in our house. The kids are exhausted from being back at school and the run up to Christmas is punctuated by Hallowe'en, bonfire night and for us Diwali. I have spent the last few weeks collecting leaves, pine cones and conkers with Blue Bear, he loves taking them into pre-school to show his friends.

The other thing that happens during this half term is we celebrate our wedding anniversary and this year we decided to go away for a few days and for the boys to stay with grandparents. In the past we've taken the boys to Coombe Mill - our favourite holiday destination - and spent a week in Cornwall, but this year we wanted to go it child-free. There are a few highlights that are worth knowing about if you are planning a UK break.

Lappa Valley: 

We visit Lappa every time we go to Cornwall, the boys just love it. By the boys I also mean Hubbie. It truly is the best family day out with steam, diesel and static trains (a cafe on sleepers is the latest addition). There is also a boating lake, crazy golf and a large playground and indoor play for the days when it's a bit too chilly to play outside. Not that anything stops our boys from wanting to go outside and play. There are seasonal events so this half term there is the Halloween Spooktacular and at we've also been at Christmas and seen Father Christmas there.

Eden Project: 

My first visit was when Eden first opened over 15 years ago and I was captivated by it then. I went back after a long time when we brought Brown Bear to Coombe Mill for the first time in July 2014. I had wanted to go back to Eden for years, but with it being so far from home I hadn't had the chance. Now I visit at least once a year if not more. That first year we took Brown Bear to Eden for Christmas and saw the best Father Christmas I think I've ever seen. He was so convincing I had to pinch myself.

My favourite thing to do in the colder months (apart from skiing) is ice skating and the rink at Eden is fantastic, set in a biome of its own outside the rainforest and mediterranean zones. I've taken Brown Bear skiing with me and he loved going round with Pedro Penguin. This visit was my first skate of the year and it's always the same - starts off with me looking like a foal finding it's feet and by the end I'm convinced I'm at an Olympic standard. I'm not. If you can make it to the end of the 40 minute session there is a snowfall that will leave visitors young and old with a magical feeling about the experience.

In my wildest dreams I imagine that I will study / volunteer at Eden and be a regular visitor here pretty much forever. I can hope can't I ?

Fishing villages: 

There are some beautiful places to visit and we have only been to a handful of them so far. The ones I'd recommend visiting with children are:

Mevagissy is a really pretty vilage which has a model railway that Brown Bear loved visiting and there is a traditional sweet shop that drew my eye as well. If you fancy seeing some more here is a list of the top ten fishing villages of which Mevagissy is one: http://www.cornwalls.co.uk/top_ten/fishing_villages.htm

Padstow is pretty well known and hardly qualifies as a village any more, so it's often busy in the summer months. We still love visiting for the great fish and chips and ice cream that makes the boys' tongues go blue. This visit we went to Rick Stein's seafood reastaurant for our anniversary which was a treat. Not something that we would do with the boys - well not at this age anyway.

Beaches: 

We love taking the boys to the beach and even in the Autumn there is plenty to see and do. In the Summer I took Brown Bear surfing at Polzeath beach. We both loved it and while you can still surf I'm not keen to get in the water when it's cold. Instead we like to walk and explore the rock pools. We've usually been lucky with sunshine even on the coldest days in Cornwall. Trebarwith Strand offers a lovely coastal walk to Tintagel and on the afternoon we visited the boys had a lovely time playing with boats and making footprints in the sand.

I can't imagine a time when we won't enjoy going to Cornwall as a family or as a couple. Not when there is so much fun to have and so many adventures yet to enjoy.

Disclosure: We received complimentary entry and ice skating from the lovely folks at the Eden Project.